Saturday, February 10, 2007
if you know someone is stressed, would you think the person is inefficient and cant cope with pressure? most likely you would, if you cannot understand the feeling of stressed people.
i'm not sure if you will, but i'm sure i will.
the reason is because i'm really very very stressed up. this is one of those rare cases where the stress level is starting to haunt me and i keep thinking im stressed. unlike those times while studying, exams come and your friends and relatives ask you how u're coping. you'll reply, "Stress lah." but in actual fact, are you really so stressed up? you hang the word "stress" at the corner of your mouth, but deep down you know, actually still can make it abit one lah.
since i think stressed people are really inefficient, i would hate to admit this, but i'm really stressed, and i know it is stress. and i don't know what to do exactly. every minute i'm always thinking of work and praying that nothing goes wrong with the work i do.
however today was not smooth for me. in fact its for last and this week. things have definitely not been going on well for me, and i'm so worried about work that i'm thinking of going to the office tomorrow morning to clear up whatever mess that is left behind. sighs.
cause i just made a big mistake today and kena scolded. she didnt scold me loudly or whatever, but she made me feel really bad and guilty bcos i'm aware that if i had been more hardworking and check back my doubts, today's mishap wouldnt have happened. it was something i could have actually prevented, but yet i let it happen. thats why i;ve been feeling really really stressed up and guilty for the whole day!
today's family dinner was wonderful, but the thought of my mistake and the mess created have left many awful butterflies in my stomach.
today is just a bad day. very bad. no one will understand what feeling i'm facing now, not my friends, not my family and definitely not my boyfriend. he even blamed me for arranging tuition tomorrow afternoon when i know he's out of camp and sat is for both of us only.
but what choice do i have? almost every weekday after work i'll be teaching tuition, not to mention weekends. will he ever understand the stress im going thru and help me out by being more understanding? it just happens so that he adds on to my stress during my worst days. nvm. perhaps he's feeling stressed too.
gtg, bye.
-when are you
coming back? ;
